From fearing to loving your donors

I know a girl whose ministry involves fundraising. She's friendly, charming, thoughtful and intelligent. One might expect someone with those traits to be a natural fundraiser, but in reality she struggles with it. Without supervision and occasional prodding, she'd rarely, if ever, contact her donors. Why is that?

I wondered at that myself for a long time until I overheard a mutual friend say, "The problem is that she doesn't love her donors. She fears them." That nailed it.

What a strange thing to have happen! How is it that our loving, generous partners in the gospel (3 John 8) become objects of fear? John helps us understand:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:18-19)

Fear has to do with punishment. That's what so easily cripples us in fundraising. We get the idea in our heads that if we talk to our donors (or potential donors) about money, they'll somehow punish us. It may be with a harsh rejection. It may be with slanderous comments spread throughout the church. It may be awkwardness in all future interactions. We may even think that God Himself will be disappointed and stop loving us. Whatever it is that we think will happen, it immediately and powerfully fills us with fear.

But John has more to say on the matter. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. We have been loved - perfectly loved - and therefore no Christian need live with this fear. For even if one or two or all of our donors rejected us, we will always have the loving embrace of our Heavenly Father to comfort us. He will never reject us. He will never slander us. He could no more stop loving us than he could stop loving Jesus.

That frees us to love - because He first loved us.

Does contacting your donor team fill you with fear? Let it do so no longer! Accept the love of God, demonstrated in the shed blood of Jesus.

Then love your donors!

Not just a fundraiser

I have a fundraising trip coming up in a couple weeks that isn't working out quite as I'd expected. It's not altogether terrible, but it's also not "full of appointments" as I'd been hoping and working towards. While someone in my shoes might be understandably sad or even a bit nervous about this, a few days ago I found my emotions growing out of proportion to reality.

I was looking at my schedule and saying things like, "I don't have time to do anything!" (completely ignoring the hours upon hours I'll be dedicating to the Lord, my family, my work, etc.)

I was looking at my contact list and saying things like, "I don't know anyone!" (which really only stemmed from just a few people who weren't responding to my emails and calls.)

What happened? In short, I was making fundraising my identity, focusing only on how I was doing in that one area while ignoring all other aspects of life. This is altogether too easy to do, and it happens in areas other than fundraising as well.

It doesn't start that way. At first I'll just be considering some way in which God has made me or called me. Then I start to think about other people who also share that trait. Then I start comparing myself. Next thing I know, I'm obsessing about how well I'm doing in that area. All other aspects of my life start to fade in importance, and all that matters is how I'm doing in that one area.

A number of things trigger this thought process within me, but it's usually when something isn't going my way. That makes fundraising an easy target - because I have no idea what I'm doing and I can't make it happen. This means that when funds aren't coming in, when phone calls are only resulting in voicemails, or when my last appointment gained me nothing but a fresh sense of inadequacy, all I can think about is what a terrible fundraiser I am. I'm a fundraiser - that's my identity - and I'm just plain bad at it. Surely God is disappointed with how His investment in me is turning out!

But here's the strange, shocking and amazing thing. Here is what God actually thinks of me (and you):

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. (1 John 3:1a ESV)

John calls us to see what kind of love the Father has given to us. Yes, we are fundraisers. But that's not the main thing we are. Of all the labels God could focus on, He chooses "children."

Not "sinners".

Not "servants".

Not any of the other "identities" we tend to give ourselves.

The label He gives to you and to me is "child of God" - because His Perfect Child took our place and we took His. We are deeply loved not because of what we've done in all our "areas" of life, but rather because of who we are in Christ.

So the next time you find yourself pondering what a terrible fundraiser you are, let this be your next thought: "Yes, that's true. I am a fundraiser. Perhaps even a poor one. But that's not all. Far more importantly, I am also called a child of God."

And so you are.

Judgmentalism

I'm a judgmental person. I confess this to my great shame. I have brought it before the Lord on many occasions and, by His grace, I've seen growth - but it is a struggle I've had for as long as I can remember and I expect to have it for a long time to come.

This blog entry is therefore written primarily to myself, though it may also benefit others who struggle similarly.

I have judged just about everyone I know for one reason or another, including my wife and my dearest friends. It should thus come as no surprise that I judge my donors as well.

I have judged donors for not being faithful to give as they've said, for not getting back to me as they'd promised and for not calling their friends as they'd committed to. I have judged them for talking too much and for talking too little. I have judged their marriages and their other relationships. I have judged them for how their children have behaved and I have judged  them for how their pets have behaved. I have judged them for what their homes have looked like and how organized their kitchens have been. I have judged donors for their reactions to my presentations, my stories, my financial "ask" and (wretched man that I am!) I have even judged them for how much they have given.

It scares me that, upon reading that last paragraph, I can think of much more to add. If anyone ever asks me why I continue to cling to the cross of Christ daily, perhaps I can simply show them this blog entry.

Why am I writing all this out? Two reasons:

1. That I can be reminded of my desperate need of God's grace.
2. That I can be reminded of the basic truth below that I so easily forget.

The truth: I ought never judge someone until I've walked a mile in their shoes.

Here are practical examples I've seen over the years of that truth in action:

• One couple who didn't give monthly as they'd committed to had failed to pay their electric bill more times than they'd failed to support me.
• One couple who didn't call their friends as they'd committed to told me that the wife had just been diagnosed with cancer. They still called for me the following week.
• One couple whose marriage was falling apart had no solid, Bible-teaching church nearby. (I have a solid, Bible-teaching church five minutes away and I STILL fail to love my wife as I ought.)
• One older donor who talked too much has a husband (also her pastor) that doesn't listen to her. I did.
• One donor who talked too little grew up with parents who rarely said a kind thing to him, so he learned to keep his mouth shut. The fact he spoke at all to me was a huge step of faith for him.
• There are too many examples to list regarding kids. You simply can not know about someone's child-rearing situation - even if you had a dozen kids of your own. Every child and every situation is unique.
• A donor whose house is messy spends two nights a week serving at the local food pantry.
• A donor whose kitchen was unorganized regularly invites homeless people for meals.
• And what can I say about people giving...?

And [Jesus] sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, "Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on." (Mark 12:41-44 ESV)

The point is that I've wrongly judged people for all manner of reasons - having never walked a mile in their shoes. The fact is, though, that I could never walk a mile, let alone a step, in someone else's shoes. But Jesus did:

Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV)

And right there is my hope: despite my wickedness - my ongoing wickedness - I can draw near to the throne of grace with confidence, and there I will find sweet mercy and rich grace.

If you've read this far, would you check in with me from time to time? I need others to ask me about the judgmentalism in my heart - and I also need others to remind me of the mercy and grace that awaits me when I repent (1 John 1:9)

If you're looking for help in this area too, stick around. My hope is that the lessons I learn will flow out into this blog as well.

Let's grow to love mercy together.