You do not have because you do not ask

"You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because you do not ask." (James 4:2, HCSB)

I distinctly remember the first time I read those words in the book of James.  I can recall it so vividly because it was the first time that I, since becoming a Christian, put down the Bible and declared, "Now THAT simply couldn't be true!"

(I still had much to learn about humility.)

Why did those words illicit such a strong response?  It was because I could not believe that any Christian would lack something simply because of not praying!  "Why in the world," I wondered, "would any Christian NOT ask God for something?  Isn't it a basic truth of the gospel that Christians are God's adopted children, and that they need only ask for an egg to receive one?  James must be mistaken!"

(I still had much to learn about human nature, too.)

Yet my baby-Christian brain was really onto something here!  Should it not be a wonder to us that we are ever lacking?  Should our lack not immediately draw us into fervent, desperate prayer?

Yet it often doesn't.  It doesn't for me, anyway.  I've begun countless nights of calls without even acknowledging the very God who called me to do fundraising in the first place.  I've sent out dozens of written appeals without the smallest request of the Father who gave me people to ask.  I've arrived at so many in-person appointments without pausing at all to ask for my Savior's intercession.  Why should I have been at all surprised when my lack of asking lead to lack of having?

In fact, there's only one thing that amazes me more than my lack of asking - and that's my lack of lacking.

If God were only just, He'd be perfectly righteous in denying me every unasked-for penny.  Rather, our God is infinitely gracious even in the midst of our unending pride!  What a wonder that He would give me any appointments or any donors when I've assumed so often that I'd earned them all myself!  In my blindness I'd go about thinking that I was being so competent and so diligent and so faithful while He patiently waited week after week for me to repent and see His grace behind my so-called works.  What kind of love is this???

While I no longer doubt the truthfulness of James's words, I wish I could say that after so many years I've finally mastered James's challenge to ask.  I haven't.  But I do ask much more often now.  And when I do, I ask out of a far more grateful heart than I'd had years ago.

(I'll always have much to learn about the gospel, too - praise God!)

Trusting in God's Plan

This is a guest post by fellow fundraiser Jenny Carrington. Interested in writing a guest post? Write to gospel.fundraiser@gmail.com.

When I began my support raising journey in June of 2012, I thought I had it all figured out. I knew whom I wanted to contact, when I wanted to contact them, when I would make the epic trek from Maryland to my home state, Massachusetts; yes, I had a plan! A perfect plan. Nothing could stop me!

About halfway through June, I began to call people living in Massachusetts for a trip I was planning to make during the first week of July. As I already had two whole weeks of support raising experience under my belt, I was certain my Massachusetts plan was impeccable: set up a few meetings with old family friends, and call the pastor of a church I had attended a few times so as to set up networking opportunities, meet with the missions committee, etc. It was a beautiful plan. I sat down at my computer, iPhone in hand, and decided to call the pastor first because I had gone to high school with his youngest daughter, and wanted to begin my night of calls with an "easy" call. I grinned from ear to ear as the phone rang, imagining how wonderfully the conversation was going to go. A click: "Hello?"

"Hi, Pastor, this is Jenny Carrington calling."

Beat. "Who?"

Oh no, he doesn't remember me? "Uh, I graduated with your daughter? We sang in chorus together?"

"Okay…"

As I began to anxiously weave together a string of words about why I was calling, what ministry I was working for, and if he was interested in meeting up in a few weeks, he gave the one response I was not expecting to hear: "No, no, thank you."

No…?! He said NO?! He briefly explained why he was disinterested in meeting, and asked me to email him the ministry's website in the morning, and we hung up.

I dramatically flung myself onto my bed, sobbing. No, no, no!! My plan, my perfect plan! God, why did you ruin my plan! Now I'm never going to finish support raising because you ruined my plan!

And in that moment, God spoke to me: Jenny, why aren't you trusting me? Why are you resting in your own capabilities, in your own plan, when I alone have the perfect plan for you?

Blinking back tears, I realized He was right. I had created a plan, but had forgotten verses such as, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that'" (James 4:13-15).

I hadn't prayed about my plan, asking if it was the Lord's will, nor had I given the plan up to the Lord, understanding that it could change. Instead, I had boasted in my plan, even idolized my plan, and when the plan failed, and fell off its pedestal, I was broken to pieces.

The next day, I went to the local café for Internet access, stared at my computer screen for a good ten minutes, and finally, begrudgingly, sent the briefest of all emails to this pastor. I included the ministry's website and my own personal bio. After clicking the send button, believing the door to be closed, I thought, Okay, Lord, this trip to Massachusetts is in your hands. What's your plan? 

Three hours later, I received a call from my hometown's area code: "Hi, Jenny, this is Anne."  (The pastor's wife?!)  "We just read your email, and we would LOVE to meet with you!!"

What? WHAT?? We talked for a few minutes and chose a date for me to come over to their house to share about the ministry. When we hung up, I literally spun in a circle of excitement. I hadn't wanted to send that email. My plan for Massachusetts had been drastically altered, and I had simply wanted to close that door as quickly as possible. Instead, God used the email to fling that door right back open. Trust me, He says. I have a plan.

Not only did we meet, but they are now supporting at $50/month! In addition, I was able to meet so many wonderful people at their church, set up more meetings and meet with the missions committee. So, essentially, God did everything I had planned for. But in His timing and in His way.

Wow.

While the previous evening of dramatics was humbling and difficult to process through, I learned much about my pride, and much about trusting in God's plan. His plan in this instance was actually quite similar to mine, but He still wanted to teach me to trust Him. And I am so very grateful for that.

Boasting in tomorrow's trip

I'm leaving on a week-long fundraising trip tomorrow. With only a relatively small amount left to raise, I'm hopeful that this trip could finish this season of needing to do "extra" fundraising.

I'm a planner by nature, so I've been putting this trip together for a couple months now. Or at least I've been trying to. For the first month of trying, not a whole lot happened. I made calls, sent emails, utilized Facebook, etc., but after weeks of trying, I had only 1-2 appointments set up to show for it. At that point I started getting frustrated...

I've been working hard at planning this trip and all I have to show for it is two meetings?? I've done everything I could! I planned, prioritized, diligently contacted existing donors... what more could I have done??

And then I read James 4.

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit" - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. (James 4:13-16 ESV)

Oh.

Apparently James was familiar with guys like me. Indeed, I was all but saying, "Next month I will go into such and such a town and spend a week there and raise funds and be finished!" Yet the Lord, speaking through James, will not let me be content with so small a thing. James instead recommends, "If the Lord wills, we will live and..." Living wasn't even in my original plan (only "trading and making a profit" was). So if I abandon my tiny goals, I can embrace a greater plan - God's plan - that involves life. The alternative is to embrace evil and boast in my arrogance.

Hard choice, huh?

If the Lord wills, tomorrow's week-long trip will accomplish all my goals. But even if it doesn't, it's only because God has something better in store for me.

What are you planning to do today or tomorrow?

Watching the numbers

Most blogs, including this one, have a reporting feature that allows you to see how many people have viewed any particular post and when they did so. It can be a useful tool for determining which topics are resonating with your audience and which aren't.

These reports can tend to produce a rather euphoric condition when some posts get significantly more web traffic than average, but the opposite is also true: if there are less page views than normal, it can be a temptation to want to throw in the towel altogether.

Watching your ministry "fund balance" is similar. For many fundraisers, there is one or perhaps a few times each year when your fund balance begins to climb. (This is often around the end of the year, but it may also happen when annual donors send in gifts.) It seems like much of the year, however, the trend is generally downward.

This may be a sign that you need to raise additional support. It may mean that you have delinquent donors to follow up with. Or it may just be that most of your funding comes in spurts, so naturally the rest of the year tends to trend downward. (All three of those things are true of me right now!)

Rather than thinking rationally about those possibilities, however, I usually just react emotionally the moment I see the latest report. If my fund balance is heading upward at that moment, I'm tempted to put my feet up and stop fundraising altogether. "Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry!" (Luke 12:19) If it's trending downward, however, I immediately assume that the world is ending. The trajectory will no doubt continue to plummet and I'll end up living in a cardboard box. I'll say to myself, "God has surely forsaken me! Woe, woe to me! I'm going to go from zero to box in 2.7 weeks! All is lost!"

But maybe you're holier than I am. If so, you can move on with your day now. If you ride the same emotional roller-coaster I do, however, let's look together at three Biblical truths that can help us:

You'll never have enough

Billionaire John D. Rockefeller was once asked, "How much money is enough?" He responded, "Just one dollar more." How true! How many page views would truly satisfy me? At what point would I know I had enough funding? Even if I had a truly viral post or received a $1M gift, I'd still keep looking to the next one because the results wouldn't last.

The truth is that deep within all of us is a God-given longing for something more. The question to ask ourselves is, what is that something? Unless your answer is "Jesus Christ", you'll always be left unsatisfied. You'll never have enough.

God loves the rebound

I don't claim to understand this completely, but God loves the rebound. It doesn't seem to matter whether it's turning an upward trend downward or turning a downward trend upward - the Bible is full of God doing both.

Perhaps it's because God is so opposed to the proud but so gracious to the humble (James 4:6) that He causes the strong to be brought low. Perhaps it's because He is glorified when weak men demonstrate His power (1 Cor 1:26-2:5). Perhaps it's because our favorite Bible stories are of the very low skyrocketing to fame, like the armor-less shepherd slaying the giant with a stone or of the unarmed slaves escaping countless Egyptian chariots through a wall of water. Whatever the reason, God loves turning things around. So it shouldn't surprise us when He rebounds our blogging influence or our financial security.

Your value is not in the numbers

"Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32) Did you catch that? Jesus emphasizes that the flock was not large but the reward could not be greater. God does not give proportionally as we might expect. That's because our value is not in what we have or what we create or even how many of us there are. Our worth is in His sovereign choice to love us. He decided this before we had anything at all - yes, before we were even born.

The impact of this blog and the state of my fundraising is already known to the Lord and He will accomplish exactly what He wants in exactly the way He wants at exactly the time He wants.  My degree of euphoria or depression as a result of watching the numbers while this take place makes no difference whatsoever.


These are wonderful truths worth considering regularly. May we all have a response of faith to trust in Him next time we see our reports, regardless of which direction they're trending.

Unless this blog entry doesn't go viral. Then I'll throw in the towel ;)

One-sided

You just finished nursing a tall latte because your contact never showed up for the appointment. As you stare at the empty cup, you also realize that not one of your supporters replied to last month's prayer update. You tried to redeem the evening earlier by making calls, but only ended up leaving another round of voicemails.  It feels like you poured yourself into your work and other people, but no one seems to care.

Fundraising often seems one-sided.

Sometimes we feel guilty for having "selfish" thoughts like that. We try to tell ourselves (and others) that we're just having a bad night. Lots of people care - really! They're just... busy... or perhaps they just forgot to respond... to all twelve voicemails... or maybe...

Maybe fundraising is often one-sided!

That's actually not a wrong thought - just an incomplete one. Consider what Paul tells us in Romans:

As it is written:
"None is righteous, no, not one;
        no one understands;
        no one seeks for God.
All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
        no one does good,
        not even one." (Romans 3:10-12 ESV)

The truth is that our fundraising is often one-sided... just like the gospel. We try again and again to get the attention of our contacts, eagerly seeking to share the amazing work God is doing and giving them an opportunity to partner with us for His glory and their joy. Is this any different from how the Lord pursues us? He tries again and again to get the attention of His people, eagerly seeking to share the amazing work He is doing and giving them an opportunity to partner with Him for His glory and their joy.

How well do we respond?

Before Christ saved us, our hearts were completely unresponsive to God's efforts to reach us (see Romans 3:10-12 above.) Now that we know Him and have dedicated our lives to Him, we generally don't respond all that much better.

Yet in the midst of our rebellion, how does God treat us? "God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8 ESV)  And again, "He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:32 ESV) Or as James puts it so plainly, "He gives more grace." (James 4:6 ESV)

Let's therefore choose not to wallow in self-pity over our empty coffee cups. Instead, let's greatly rejoice that God knowingly entered into a one-sided, grace-based relationship with us... so that we could knowingly enter into a one-sided, grace-based relationship with others.

I just want to quit

I've wanted to quit fundraising a bunch of times. Here's a story about the first time.

When I first started fundraising I somehow got the idea in my head that I'd do well at it. I enjoyed meeting new people. I could tell a good story. I rarely worried about money.

That attitude lasted about two months.

Seemingly without warning, I suddenly found myself against a wall. Despite lots of appointments and church speaking opportunities, the support barely came in. People just weren't giving and my list of new contacts shrank down to nearly no one.

So I tried re-reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. I tried contacting everyone I knew about potential referrals. I even tried improving my presentation book and printing it on nicer paper.

I tried just about everything I could think of so as to not need Jesus.

Finally, as I drove home after a particularly discouraging appointment one night, I called out to God in desperation. Through tears I told Him that I couldn't do it anymore. "I just want to quit," I whispered into the dark.

It was at that moment the Holy Spirit convicted me with this question: "Quit what, exactly?"

I thought the answer would be, "I want to quit fundraising!" Instead, I realized that the answer was really, "I want to quit trying to do this myself."

A wave of Scripture washed over me - and with it, a wave of peace. The verse that gave me the most clarity came from James:

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6 ESV)

For months my pride resulted not only in forfeiture of God's rich, limitless grace but also in the sovereign God of the universe purposefully and personally opposing me. No wonder I wasn't making any headway!

To be clear, my fundraising didn't immediately turn around the next day - but my attitude did. And even more importantly, God's attitude toward me did. In His mercy and wisdom He had been withholding blessing, and then in His mercy and wisdom He gave it freely again.

Your story won't be the same as mine, but your Savior already is. So the next time you feel like quitting, turn to Him.

It may be you want to quit the wrong thing.