Trusting in God's Plan

This is a guest post by fellow fundraiser Jenny Carrington. Interested in writing a guest post? Write to gospel.fundraiser@gmail.com.

When I began my support raising journey in June of 2012, I thought I had it all figured out. I knew whom I wanted to contact, when I wanted to contact them, when I would make the epic trek from Maryland to my home state, Massachusetts; yes, I had a plan! A perfect plan. Nothing could stop me!

About halfway through June, I began to call people living in Massachusetts for a trip I was planning to make during the first week of July. As I already had two whole weeks of support raising experience under my belt, I was certain my Massachusetts plan was impeccable: set up a few meetings with old family friends, and call the pastor of a church I had attended a few times so as to set up networking opportunities, meet with the missions committee, etc. It was a beautiful plan. I sat down at my computer, iPhone in hand, and decided to call the pastor first because I had gone to high school with his youngest daughter, and wanted to begin my night of calls with an "easy" call. I grinned from ear to ear as the phone rang, imagining how wonderfully the conversation was going to go. A click: "Hello?"

"Hi, Pastor, this is Jenny Carrington calling."

Beat. "Who?"

Oh no, he doesn't remember me? "Uh, I graduated with your daughter? We sang in chorus together?"

"Okay…"

As I began to anxiously weave together a string of words about why I was calling, what ministry I was working for, and if he was interested in meeting up in a few weeks, he gave the one response I was not expecting to hear: "No, no, thank you."

No…?! He said NO?! He briefly explained why he was disinterested in meeting, and asked me to email him the ministry's website in the morning, and we hung up.

I dramatically flung myself onto my bed, sobbing. No, no, no!! My plan, my perfect plan! God, why did you ruin my plan! Now I'm never going to finish support raising because you ruined my plan!

And in that moment, God spoke to me: Jenny, why aren't you trusting me? Why are you resting in your own capabilities, in your own plan, when I alone have the perfect plan for you?

Blinking back tears, I realized He was right. I had created a plan, but had forgotten verses such as, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that'" (James 4:13-15).

I hadn't prayed about my plan, asking if it was the Lord's will, nor had I given the plan up to the Lord, understanding that it could change. Instead, I had boasted in my plan, even idolized my plan, and when the plan failed, and fell off its pedestal, I was broken to pieces.

The next day, I went to the local café for Internet access, stared at my computer screen for a good ten minutes, and finally, begrudgingly, sent the briefest of all emails to this pastor. I included the ministry's website and my own personal bio. After clicking the send button, believing the door to be closed, I thought, Okay, Lord, this trip to Massachusetts is in your hands. What's your plan? 

Three hours later, I received a call from my hometown's area code: "Hi, Jenny, this is Anne."  (The pastor's wife?!)  "We just read your email, and we would LOVE to meet with you!!"

What? WHAT?? We talked for a few minutes and chose a date for me to come over to their house to share about the ministry. When we hung up, I literally spun in a circle of excitement. I hadn't wanted to send that email. My plan for Massachusetts had been drastically altered, and I had simply wanted to close that door as quickly as possible. Instead, God used the email to fling that door right back open. Trust me, He says. I have a plan.

Not only did we meet, but they are now supporting at $50/month! In addition, I was able to meet so many wonderful people at their church, set up more meetings and meet with the missions committee. So, essentially, God did everything I had planned for. But in His timing and in His way.

Wow.

While the previous evening of dramatics was humbling and difficult to process through, I learned much about my pride, and much about trusting in God's plan. His plan in this instance was actually quite similar to mine, but He still wanted to teach me to trust Him. And I am so very grateful for that.

The Perfect Plan

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9 ESV) 

A man's steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way? (Proverbs 20:24 ESV) 

A few months ago I was telling a friend about my plan to start a blog on fundraising. At one point I said something like, "I'm not really sure if this blog idea is from the Lord or if it's just a passing fancy. So, my plan is to write two dozen entries before I start posting them. That way if it's not from the Lord, there's nothing lost."

Several days later I was still thinking about what I'd said to that friend.

The next morning I made the first post.

What changed my mind?

I realized that I'd be a hypocrite if I wrote a blog about doing fundraising despite weakness, fear, uncertainty, inability and a whole slew of good reasons not to do fundraising... and yet gave into those same fears when it came to writing those blog entries.

See, the reason I didn't want to start the blog was that I wanted to have the Perfect Plan first. In my mind, having two dozen entries beforehand would somehow guarantee success. I'd be able to see the "end" before I even had to begin. By waiting for 24 blog entries, I could rely on what I'd already done rather than relying on God.

I was choosing a Perfect Plan over a Perfect Savior.

That plan doesn't work any better in the realm of fundraising than it does in blogging. Sometimes I find myself wanting to have at least one appointment per day lined up before I even schedule a trip (tricky, I know!) I delay writing a newsletter until I know it'll be my best one yet. I hesitate to ask someone for support because I just don't think they'd be "on board".  In each case, I'm putting the cart before the horse and virtually guaranteeing failure. My fears become self-fulfilling prophecies and I can easily go on to become bitter about fundraising or even God Himself.

None of that is God's fault, though. It's just my Perfect Plan turning out to be not-so-perfect after all.

In my experience, I've become a better fundraiser as I've done more fundraising. I'll become a better blogger as I do more blogging. I'm becoming a better husband as I've been married longer. I'm better at following Jesus now than I was back in 1999 when I took my first steps. On that day, it wasn't important that I knew where I'd be on November 1st, 2012. It was important that I was no longer waiting to know.

This is my 24th Gospel Fundraising blog entry. There have been over 1200 visits to date. Dozens of people read every entry. Many of you have contacted me to say how much these small gospel reminders have helped you in fundraising. Some have even asked me to write on particular topics (and please do!)

My point isn't to say that this blog is something great. Rather, it's to say that my original comment to my friend was wrong.

If I'd waited on my Perfect Plan, much would have been lost.

Let's not wait on any more Perfect Plans.

Let's trust God.

Let's start fundraising.

Welcome to Gospel Fundraising... whatever that means

I don't like the title of this blog.

"Gospel Fundraising".  What does that even mean?  Is that some kind of modern-relevant-missional-organic trendy Christian-insider speak for plain ol' regular fundraising?  Is "gospel" even allowed to be an adjective?  Or maybe it's an adverb.  Or one of those other parts of speech that you learned back in junior high and forgot five minutes after the exam.

But I digress.

I don't like the title of this blog, and I'm scared that you won't like it either.

It's a scary thing to write a blog.  You're talking out into the world, sharing your thoughts, dreams, desires and fears, hoping that someone will be listening and might even like what you're saying.  You're constantly terrified of being rejected, being poked fun at or, worst of all, not even realizing that no one cares.

Kinda like fundraising.  And that's why I'm starting a blog.

I'm not sure if "Gospel Fundraising" is a good title.  I'm not even sure if it's grammatically correct.  But every time I talk with a Christian who is trying to raise funds (myself included), I'm left wishing that I could show him or her a fuller picture of the gospel than our time together allows.  I want to tell them that the gospel frees us to fail.  It frees us to put ourselves out there and be rejected.  It frees us to have blog titles that aren't perfect and phone calls that are awkward and appointments that don't result in support.  Because of the gospel - the completed work of Jesus Christ on the cross for all our sin and imperfections - we are fully accepted and loved by a gracious God who desires to give us good things (Romans 8:32).

There are already plenty of resources out there to teach you the methodology of good fundraising and the tools of effective fundraising, so this blog will focus on how the gospel impacts fundraising.  My prayer is that God will use this blog to encourage the fainthearted whom He has called to a great work, but who are scared of fundraising.  My hope is that if you, like me, find yourself staring at your phone or your computer rather than doing the fundraising you know that you need to, you might be able to stop by and read this blog for a few minutes, remember the gospel (the reason you're doing the fundraising in the first place), and then get back to doing your work while trusting in a Savior who completed His.

Like this blog title, your work needn't be perfect - because Jesus is.